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Setting ME free.

Posted on January 19, 2010 at 12:11 AM Comments comments (0)


I’m still not ready to blog about my birthday bash. My head’s still up high in the clouds and I definitely won’t be able to concentrate that much on the thoughts I wish to share.

 

What I want to share lately is this ‘something ’that this‘ someone’ brings. I call him U. How come? As usual, the reason’s derived from something quite personal. Better not to mention it in here. :wink:

 

So there. Honestly, our ‘connection’ has been quite shaky lately. I am this moody but most of the time sassy lass plus him being this ALWAYS unpredictable lad equals one totally unique blend. Way complicated to combine, eh?! :dry:

 

But anyways, opposites attract, right? Scientifically correct …and personally? I agree.

 

I really like the fact that he’s so down to earth, and he listens to me. When I tell him something, he thinks about it and eventually will do something about it. He pays attention, that’s what makes me feel special,the most. :)

 

He shows who he is, no cover ups, no faking.

 

Yes, I’m raising my white flag. I surrender- hands down to LOVE.




I’m ready again. I’m back in the field. Let me audition

…and if I’m capableand totally all in, let me play.

Let me win.

 

 


 

On my 19th: first few hours

Posted on January 16, 2010 at 6:55 PM Comments comments (0)

I woke up around 9pm, and it's still January 16- which is Saturday, and supposedly its still my rest day. I've already thought of coming to office around 11pm- not too early, nor too late to avoid traffic and for security measures.


 

I actually still don't want to get up that time. Aside from sleeping late (I usually sleep around 11am, but yesterday I stayed up until late lunch), I felt that I should just sleep all day and stay in bed`as long as I like, since it is my rest day and WHAT THE HECK- ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! :tongue:


 

Well anyways, the thought of tomorrows' BIG DAY made me get up. I was so excited to just enjoy my 19th- no frills, no unnecessary baggage- just fun! So there, I sat in my sofa bed, opened my lappy (which, BTW, still doesn't have a name), logged in for a while, and afterwards decided to prep up.


 

While in the shower, I heard these loud noises from outside. At first I thought it was just the market noise on the other side of the street, but then it suddenly came to my mind that what I'm hearing were actually fireworks. Same as my birthday is the SANTO NIÑO DE TONDO FIESTA. But darn, so sad that I'm still in the midst of my hour-long bath. lol. I love fireworks, and it kind of makes me sad not being able to watch outside.


 

So there. As I went back to my room and grabbed some clothes to wear, I checked my cellphone just in case my friends would greet me early, or if they have to change some part of our plans for tomorrow.


 

I received some random texts, the usual group messages. One thing that caught my attention is that my Bhezshrai Gladys said that she was about to sleep, and that's when I remembered we haven't cleared things out yet. If she'll be present tomorrow or not. So I replied back through Tattoo and she told me that her presence assurance was 50-50. Another sad thing. Sigh... :dry:


 

Few minutes later, she called. "Naka-unyt ang lola mo," I thought. I put her on loudspeak, and we exchanged stories- from recent school activities to our love lives.


 

Exactly 12:01, my Neachie Ynna texted. I asked her to look for an available Globe cellphone from their household, so Gladz can call her up and we can go on a conference call. But then before I knew it, I already have an incoming call from her. I answered the call, and fortunately, I was able to make it a 3-way conversation. As it ended, the sadness became worse. With how Ynna had informed me about how things had been going, it seems that they don't have any concrete plan at all. But still, I hope we could all enjoy the rest of our day. I hate planning anyways.


 

Sadness struck me thrice already. :(


 

As I reached our office, I felt eased by the fact that they gave me lots of greetings, smiles and hugs. I felt like they're even better than some of my friends- to think that I barely knew them at all.


 

What I also enjoyed was the cake that Intek had for his break. Even if its not really for me (he got it from his girlfriend's father's birthday), the fact that he shared it, along with everybody else's greetings, wide smiles and all made the small load I'm carrying a bit lighter. I stayed in the pantry and ate my cake with Glenn, who's on his lunch break eating his "adobong matamis". Our kulitan moments was also notable, thanks to my taeng Glennshin. =)


 

Then Geoff, Regz and I went to MiniStop in Columns, stayed there for a while, talked about everything that had happened recently, which made me feel better since I miss chatting with them. Even if I was so pissed of Chinabank's system being down, the first four hours of my day was generally a thumbs up.


 

We've been waiting for Cindy, and it's already past three (her end shift) she's still not there, so we went back to PS. Regz, Geoff and I continued our chitchat, while Cindy is apparently still working on her call documentations. Its been raining cats and dog callers, good thing Geoff and I were on rest days, which reminds me of wanting to tell Geoff how much I appreciate his prescence today. Thanks Jepot!


 

After Cindy had finished her tons of after shift works, together with Regz and Geoff they slept upstairs on the 5th floor sleeping lounge.


 

I went back inside and felt bad for my friends there. It's already almost five but the calls on queue were still high! Whew. It's already obvious that the management went wrong on plotting schedules. You can easily notice that there's only few agents on floor that time.


 

As I sat down in here, I just surfed the net for a while, started this blog post and eventually when Glenn's shift has ended we then continued the 'wala lang-kulitan' session. We just then helped out some fellow specialists on their calls. Floorwalker? lol


 

Around past 6, Glenn and I went down and withdrew some cash. He then headed to Yellow Cab to join Ian, Melman, Ron and fellow Tech Support specialists, while I went back upstairs. And that's how I finished this blog.


 

Five minutes to go, and my 19th celeb would officially start!


 


Hope this would be fun! :D



 

 

*Pls. don't mind the typo's and wrong grammar for now. :wink:

 


Twenty-Ten

Posted on January 11, 2010 at 1:55 AM Comments comments (0)


Whew, after a lot of “Later Iwill”-s, I am now in the mood to write about this upcoming year.

 

Thanks to my system’sstubbornness, I am now still awake even if my rest day’s almost over.

 

Where shall I start it off?

 

Hmm, let me share my New Yearcelebration first. Well, as most of you already know, I had Varicella Zoster,commonly known as Chickenpox, and it’s the main reason why I didn’t enjoywelcoming the year.

 

On the 31st, my AteMia and I just bought ready-made Pancit Malabon, Pork Teriyaki and a ChocoJelly Roll. Since my brothers were with my Mom in Mindorothat time, the idea of having a table full of food was actually way far down inmy list. It was just I, my Ate Mia, our granny Mamang and my dad who’s left athome to celebrate and welcome 2010. We decided not to buy lots of food becausewe’d probably just sleep the night off or be bored on putting ourselves up on afestive mood, since, personally, we’re not much of a merry maker. We usuallyjust feel the vibe of celebrating if we’re outside with kids- like our closestneighbors- and also with the presence of my two brothers. (Well, the one nextto me’s already a teen but he’s this jolly seventeen-er who loves to dread ourplace with the noise his homemade canyon makes).

 

Aside from that, on ourneighborhood we usually go on a pot luck set-up- since we all just have smallfamilies and small spaces in our respective homes- so spoiling our taste budswon’t be much of a problem. We also already presumed what the scenario would bewhen the clock strikes twelve- my sister and I would jump up first, cuddle ourpuppies and dogs (which will surely run inside as they’d be rattled by the firecrackers), shout “Happy New Year!” a couple of times, greet each other, grabsome food from the buffet table outside, then tuck ourselves BACK to bed.

 

This year, we agreed on watchinga popcorn movie. We had some junk food in our room and our Media Noche’salready placed beside the fruits, bread and teriyaki so everything is alreadyprepared (the cake was for the pot luck). About half an hour before midnight,we already heard lots of fire crackers and fireworks. My dad even came inasking us to join everybody else. But me being this cautious virus host, Idecided not to go outside, nor serve myself from the buffet table. Of course mydad insisted that I’m not THAT MUCH contagious anymore, which is correct, butstill I don’t want to risk joining the kids… or maybe I was just too lazy orI’m just not hungry- nor in a social mood that time.

 

So as the year breaks up- as wepredicted- our dogs were already inside, Mamang just finished eating, my Dad’sdrinking with his friends, and us?

 

…still tucked in our bed,watching a movie. As the movie had finished, my Ate then went outside to grabsomething to eat. While waiting for her, I sent text messages to my loved ones.Bad thing I was not able to register to Unlitext, so I used regular load. Thegood thing was that I’m on a postpaid line.

 

So there, that’s how I celebratedthe coming of 2010.

 

What else can I talk about?Resolutions? Nah, I’m not fond of making those. I’d rather be spontaneous andjust do things. I personally think of resolutions as something you just want tochange, but sometimes lack the courage and motivation to do so, that’s why youstrive hard and outline them all to keep them in mind.

 

Mine’s not a resolution, butrather a list of things I’d be accomplishing this year.

 

So far, these are the things onmy TO DO LIST.

 

Consolidate all my photos, blogs, literary and art works.Since I have lotsof online accounts, I’d gather them all, back it up, delete, re-upload(proofread a little), and just put them all under 1 or 2 umbrellas.

 

I’d develop those umbrellas, and make sure they’re updated.Maybe not on adaily basis, but at least once a week would be fine.

 

If EVER that 5th chapter’s gonna start this year, I’d make sure it’ll be an open book. I’ve learned alot already on those first 4 chapters. This time around, I’d make sure thingswould be better.

 

.

Rebuild, maintain, and develop personal relationships There’s a lotof people that I’ve decided to let go. Some people who needs some time alone towork themselves out, some whom I think won’t be much of a loss, and some whom Ithink I really don’t want to grow up with. Even if I personally still care, Ijust don’t want to substantially waste my time ‘correcting’ nor ‘leading’ themto the right path- or heck you can say pretending they’re a good friend ofmine. I just decided to divert those attentions to those deserving people in mylife.

 

Start creating my biography.Who say’s youneed to be famous to create one? Huh! Actually the idea came from my mom, shealready started hers, but unfortunately, her computer at home crashed and shedoesn’t have a back-up of all her files. So lesson learned, always back up!

 

Gather, sort, and start labeling my scraps.This would be anever ending project, just like no. 5. I already have tons of knick knacks andtidbits for my scrapbook. Most of them were already labeled (because I tend toforget happenings, dates and personal notes if I won’t label them at once.)

 

Delete all my old and nonsense online accountsI’ve exploredlots of online accounts already. I decided to delete some of them, especiallythose I don’t find interesting anymore. Also, I have several email boxes. Assoon as I finish sorting my online accounts, I’d be backing up and eventuallybe deleting some of those email boxes as well.

 

I’d revive my creative and artistic side.If you’dnotice, most of the things that I’d be doing this year were all art related.Aside from warming up from those blog and website overhauls, I also want torelive my hobby writing down poetry and of making arts and crafts.

 

Almost done!

 

Enough on things about me.

 

Here’s to my hopes thistwenty-ten:

 

Generally, I just wish thatwhoever wins the presidential elections on May, I just hope that person WILLmake a change- for the betterment all. I’m not into politics. (that may also beone of the reasons why I was not able to register as a voter… or should I say Idid not- by choice?)

 

With regard to my job, I justhope that I’ll be able to perform well with all the changes that Netsol’s beengoing through. I just had the worst grades this week. I need to make sure I’dget right back on track this week.

 

More to being careful, and say noto stubbornness!

 

On being a friend, I just wishthey’d still be the same. I may be busy at work, or has a complicated and unfitto theirs’ schedule but I WILL make time. They know that I can and I willwhenever they need me.

 

For being a daughter, sister, andan adult, I just hope I can grow up to become someone who’s better than who Iam now. I may be a nagger at times, but that jut shows how much I love myfamily and those people around me. I want them to hear what they SHOULD hear.

 

For all those people who havebeen a part of my well-enjoyed and life-changing 2009, thanks a lot for keepingup with this moody lass. Its been one hell of

 

Cheers to 2010!

 


Back to work *updated

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 3:19 PM Comments comments (2)

First day back to work. :wink:

 

Well, I prepared early and went off as soon as possible, and around 8pm, I'm already in Ayala.

 

While on my way, my Bhezt Tina and I kept on exchanging texts. I told her I'm so excited getting back to work at the same time I'm feeling sort of lazy. Being just at home for the past two weeks and suffering the hassle that chickenpox had brought me equates to one hell of a vacay. It's not that I went on a holiday vacation because supposedly I have to work on Christmas and new year's eve. To some it might've been a good thing if they'd be on medical leave for two weeks but honestly, it's like hell! The only thing I was thankful for was that atleast I was able to spend holidays with my family- umm, physically. :roll:

 

Even if I went home to spend the new year celebration with my dad, ate Mia and Mamang, everything still sucked. My 2 younger bros and my mom is in Mindoro, we were supposed to attend my grandparents golden wedding anniversary- altogether. I was prohibited to go out on public places by the doctor, fearing I might pass on the varicella zoster, the scientific term for chickenpox, and they even told me to isolate myself. What the... So there, on Christmas I was alone here in Manila and on new year's eve, my fave cousin Ate Mia and I just tucked ourselves in our room and went on a DVD marathon, while of course, munching everything we could grab.

 

FYI, occasions at home were celebrated thru potluck with our neighbors, so during media noche, ate Mia just went out to grab something to eat from the buffet table, and came back inside to share the 'blessings'.  :tongue:

 

Anyways, going back to my first day, well, I can say it went well. I didn't even feel the alienation (duh, that's overstatement) nor the guilt as I approached my Supervisor (for not calling in everyday). He was actually very... accommodating (for the lack of a better term). He even joked around as I asked him on the things I need to follow up on.

 

What I loved about going back to work is that I get to exercise my brain again. Although I've been working out my brain through going online and updating my website, blogs and some social networking stuffs, its still a lot better to work it out in a more conducive, mature and serious environment.

 

And of course I'd be able to see my dear officemates, whose now all part of my 'system'. I already got used to seeing them almost everyday for the past 7 months, and I definitely look forward to every stories, jokes, FOOD =) and whatevers-under-the-sun (in our case, since its GY- whatevers-under-the-moon lol) things they want to share. Personally, they've been a part of me growing up. They've treated me as the 'bunso' but not really- in a positive way.

 

As I went around to catch up with them, I felt so overwhelmed by the fact that they noticed I was gone, and that they've been all asking out how I'm doing already. Plus the fact that I get to talk to two officemates whom, I've never talked to before. And fortunately, it went well. Although it's really sad to hear that a lot of them will resign in the days to come. Some already bid goodbye actually. Awwww.

 

Good thing there's not much changes with NSI, and that I'd be able to cope in no time. Alex even told me to ask my Sup not to let me go on avail at once, reasoning since I've been gone for quite a while, that I need to catch up on things, and that I can go on side-barging first. But stubborn-me just thought, "hell to that thinking, I was just gone for 2 weeks!"

 

So there, after our pre-shift, I went on avail and lucky me, my system made sure I'm fit to work again- physically, mentally and psychologically.

 

 

(continued 3:17 am)

 

There you go, I already met Dei, Annoh, Geoff, and Paige. I missed these guys a lot. I also miss Intekii, my buddy buddy! As well as Regina. Those two blokes are soooo fun to be with. They're on RD so we won't meet up 'til tomorrow and on friday respectively.

 

I also missed Erickson! Hah! This crazy seatmate of mine (who's BTW 'promoted' to processing) also makes my day. So I approached him during my first break and had a chit-chat to catch up on things.

 

During lunch break, Geoff, Jam, Glenn and I ate altogether in the pantry. Aside from the small talks in between, I realized that I missed sitting on a table and just eat out with 'people'. During my 2 wk med leave I always either eat alone or just eat out with my ate Mia. That makes me feel indifferent at times, but I eventually get used to it.


After lunch, Geoff, Jam and I grabbed Starby (courtesy of Geoff).


I also checked my QA scores for the last week of 2009, the day before I went on RD and then came this 'chickenpox phenomenon', good thing I passed. As email updates were also sent out, I was so surprised to know that I won 2 more 300 NS cash. Good job!

 

Moreover, Ferdelicious, my beloved team, won on the 4th and 5th rounds of It Pays to be efficient! I now smell team building... hahaha!

 

Wheeew. Way to go. This first day back to work's really a bang. hope it'll stay this way for the rest of the year!

 

Cheers to NSI!  :D

How I spent Decembers

Posted on December 25, 2009 at 12:08 AM Comments comments (0)


Sigh.


Christmas has just gone by again for me like nothing happened. :dry:

 

Noon,sa pagkakatanda ko, every Christmas sa’min bongga. Mula sa preparations,hanggang sa memories na naiiwan. As in LAHAT. But actually when I say ‘noon’that typically dates back around… hmmm… a decade ago.



Around 1996 onwards

 

Ditona nagsisimulang magkaron ako ng tinatawag nilang childhood memories, 5 yrs oldna ko. Elementary at Antipolo days. Dun pa kami nakatira sa Buenos AiresTownhomes. Marangya? Hindi din… maganda lang yung bahay namin noon don, perosmple lang ang lifestyle. Siguro masasabi kong nakakaluwag-luwag pa kami nungbagong lipat up to our second year ng pagtira. Pero afterwards, wala na. Bahayna lang talaga yung masasabi kong maganda. (Well, sa ibang pagkakataon na langnatin pagkuwentuhan yung kadramahan sa part na ‘yan)


 

Family Preparations

 

Pagpasok pa lang ng November, excited na kaming mag-anak. Pa’no, every year, birthday niPapa ang hudyat  sa Christmas prep.November 6 to be exact, maglalabas na kami niyan ng decors, at magplaplano ngihahanda, gifts, motif at iisipin ang set-up. At kapag sinabi mong set-up, yunay kung doon ba kami sa bahay magpapasko, o kila Tito Buboy, Jing at Pal saSantolan, Pasig…(kapag sa bahay ang pasko ang new year kina Tito, at vice versa).

 


Community celebration

 

Kapag pasko noon, ramdam na ramdam. I still remember, lahat ng bahay dun may lights…yung iba may parol pa. Minsan nga kahit wala naman tumatao, pinapailawan pa din.

 

Di din mawawala yung community programs, exchange gifts, pot luck. Mga ganun. At kami, bilang mga bata, usually may mga production o ‘special/intermissionnumber’ ek-ek. Naalala ko pa nga, may pagkakataon na kumanta kami ng 12 Days of Christmas. (Pero ang totoo niyan laging yung grupo namin may mga ‘specialnumbers’ tuwing may occasion, kadalasan sumasayaw kami) Meron ‘ding pa-raffle.Tapos tipong few hours before midnight, may mga nangangaroling, at bawal K.J.!Magbibigay ka talaga kahit piso, or kahit candies. (Hehe, style namin sa bahayeh gumagawa kami ng pulvoron, or yema… tapos pina-pack namin ng maganda para yun yung pinapamigay.)



Christmas tree Theme

 

Every year iba-iba yung decoration ng puno namin. Si mama, number 1 na maburloloy at artsy, ayun, super head of the designs and crafts. Meron kami noon, candy-inspired. May mga malilit na candies kuno si mama na tinahi, gold cloth na may cotton sa loob. Meron din one time silver at blue yung motif, ito yungmabusisi… although yung blue na mga panabit ng Christmas tree eh binili na lang,yung silver part yung mabusisi. Hindi gaanong uso yung décor nay un. Pero alamniyo ba itsura ng hay? Ganun siya, pero silver, na para bang ginupit-gupit nametallic foil. Sobrang ninipis! Tapos mantakin mo ba naming ang ginawa namindun eh kinalat naming siya sa puno. (ending nung tanggalan portion na mega kalkalkami ng bawat hibla na kinalat namin. Syempre kapag tinapon sayang. Pero infairness sobrang ganda nun tignan. Nagkaron din kami ng theme noon na puro giftyung panabit. Mula styro na binalot ng metallic foil tapos nilagyan ng ribboneh nilagyan na lang namin ng sinulid para isabit… (ganito yung style ng pnabitngayon sa office namin :tongue:)



Santa Claus

 

Ewanko pero, masasabi ko ring isa ako ‘dun sa mga batang naniwala nung bata pa nasi Santa yung nagbigay ng gift talaga sa’kin. But I’m surprisingly thankful forthat. Yung ibang Filipino families kasi, as in parang mga K.J., ultimo sa mgabata ‘di pinaparamdam na may Santa. Di man as in totoong si Santa yungnagbibigay ng gift eh diba at least paniwalain man lang sa thought na they’d berewarded if they’d be good all the year round. I believe na yun naman angmagandang effect ng paniniwala sa Santa eh. Kumbaga, you’d be given what youdeserve and for what you’ve worked for (kung gusto mong palalilim ng konti yungsense, haha.) Noon, as in yung pag-hang ng socks, ginagawa namin ‘yun. Andsyempre as a child (and I would like to commend my parents for this memory, sosweet and thoughtful) ‘di ko naman as in mababantayan yung sock ko na sinabit.Pero of course, kapag bata, minsan mahirap lusutan. Halos ‘di ko tinatantanansina Mama at Papa. Bantay sarado pa rin ako sa kanila, checking if sila ba yungnaglalagay ng gifts. There was this present na ewan ko talaga kung sinonaglagay sa sock ko sa pinto, kasi binantyan ko naman parents ko nun, atnagkaron ako ng toy telephone na super cute. (hanggang ngayon as in di ko alam sino naglagay, maitanong ko nga kay Papa kung maalala niya pa)

 


Gifts

 

Onetime, nahuli ko sa bodega naming, may malaking box. Knowing na’akin’ yun (yungdream doll house ko) kunyari nagtanong ako sa kanila kung ano yung laman nun.Sabi nila gift sa inaanak. I was so disappointed that time. As in akala ko akineh. Eh ako naman ‘tong si madali maniwala at hindi palahinigi, ‘okay fine’ angdrama. Ever since naman kasi hindi ako yung tipo ng bata na spoiled sa materialthings at bratinela… so there. Pero eventually, nung Christmas eve, I was sosurprised nung nilabas na nila yun. As in kalalabas pa lang ng bedroom, halosmaiyak na ‘ko. Kasi that time naisip ko, “Ay ito, akin na talaga ‘yan…imposible nang hindi…” Syempre kasi wala naman ibang bata dun that time, atbukasan na ng gifts for everyone ang moment nay un. Hehe…

 


Bisita Iglesia

 

Diko alam kung ito talaga yung term, pero ang lalam ko eh bumisita kami sa kungsaan-saang simbahan. Magkakalayo. There was this instance na sinama kami ngboss nina Mama mag-bisita Iglesia. Medyo maliit pa ‘ko nun, and I don’t reallypay attention at names, pero madami dami din kami napuntahan. Nasa photographicmemory ko pa yung ambiance nung mga ginalaan naming. Naka-van kami noon atmaghapon kami nagpalibot sa buong Luzon.

 


Simbang Gabi

 

Eto,nauso lang ang simbang gabi sa bokabularyo ko nung mag High Schoolako. Actually, as in noon lang nauso ‘yun. Ngayon ‘di ko na rin ‘to ginagawaeh. Mga best friends ko lang naman sa Caloocanng mahilig at deboto sa ganito. Hihi. Inaamin ko naman na kapag kasama ‘ko sakanila, simbang tabi lang ako. Inaantok eh. Ni anticipated mass, ‘di ko talaga kina-career.

 


Regalo Galore

 

Isasa mga task na nakasanayan ko na gawin taun-taon ay ang pamimili at pamimigayng regalo. Ewan ko, innate na siguro sa’kin ang pagiging mapagbigay. Yung ibasa mga nakakakilala ‘talaga’ sa’kin, kilala ko na parang may pagka-selfless.Pero minsan naman selfish ako, hehe. Ayun. Noong bulinggit pa ako, kahit walaakong pera I still manage to give out gifts for my loved ones. Like forexample, yung bookmark ko noon na as in bago pa, (I think I got it as afreebie, sort of a loot bag content from a birthday party???)  and since hindi naman ako mahilig gumamitnon, iniregalo ko sa kapatid kong si Neil. Parang ‘meme’ nga lang ako noonmagregalo. Medyo nakalakihan ko nga yung ganong ugali kaya medyo ‘nag-reformat’ako.

 

 

 

CHANGES.

 

Well,all of those mentioned above eh ang nakalakihan ‘kong Christmas spirit. Sobrangfeel mo ang pagbibigayan at higit sa lahat, PAGMAMAHALAN.

 

Yes,everything changed. Unti-unting nawawalan ng sense sa’kin at amor angkapaskuhan. Akala ko as in lahat nakakaramdam non, kasi kapag sinasabi ko samga friends ko na “every year, parang pa-wala na nang pawala yung spirit ngChristmas…” at kapag sinasabi ko ‘yon, uma-agree sila agad, na para na ringunspoken guarantee na “wag ka mag-alala, lahat tayo nararamdaman ‘yan.”

 

Butas I write down these thoughts (…na ilang ulit ko pa pinag-isipan kung masma-e-express ko ba ‘to in Filipino) bigla ko na-realize, mas iba ang impactsa’kin. Nabago na mindset ko actually ‘bout Christmas celebration.

 

Ofcourse, one big factor in this ‘change’ is my status. I mean, yung pagigingbroken NA ng family ko. Haaaay. Nakaka-emo pakinggan pero diba, yun din namankasi yung one of the main reasons why I celebrate, LEARNED how to celebrate andlove spending the Christmas season with my loved ones.

 

Anotherfactor I guess is that, andaming nagbago sa’kin, sa pamilya ko, at saginagalawan ko ngayon. Hmm, tignan mo nga naman ang tadhana, kung iisipin,lahat naman ng bagay na ‘bumulusok pababa’ sa buhay ko eh dahil sa hiwalayan ngparents ko. Well, done is done. Past is past. Move on na lang. Kahit ‘di nakasing saya ng Christmas naming noon ang Christmas naming ngayon, well, I’mstill thankful for everything. Main reason naman ng pag-celebrate natin nito ehang pagdating NIYA  sa buhay natin diba,so let’s just enjoy whatever type of Christmas comes our way. Live, love,laugh. Enjoy na lang!

 


Another deep sigh...

 

Soito na nga, ang pinaka kakaiba kong Christmas. Pa’no naman kasi, kaw ba namanmagka CHICKENPOX few days before Christmas day. Bongga diba. As in pahirap!

 

Buong akala ko nagkaron na ‘ko nito nung bata pa. Bad trip! Aside from the hassle andall, ang nakaka-asar pa lalo eh natuklasan ko siya bago pa man din kami pumuntang Tagaytay ng Magic 10.  So megatrangkaso ang lola niyo nung nasa Tagaytay na. Pero enjoy pa din naman.

 

Anyways,looking at the brighter side, mas okay na din na nagkaron na ko nito, kesanaman as in thunders na ‘ko dapuan. Hihihi.. :roll:


Till here!




 

 


Up- Down? Move on.

Posted on December 15, 2009 at 3:47 PM Comments comments (0)

Mine.

 

Maybe I'm too demanding.

 

Yes, you can say that. But I demand for just what I know is possible, plausible, and is rightful.

 

When it comes to material things, my family knows I'm not that much of a spolied brat. When I want something, I'd calmly ask for it. When things didn't go my way, I linger on the thought for just a moment, and eventually let it slip away. I remember before when I was still little, when I ask something- a toy perhaps-  from my parents, when it turns out that their response would be negative, I actually don't cry.

 

"If something is for you, and is rightfully yours, it'll be.." I unconsciously lived by that thought.

 

I also remembered my High School graduation day. I wanted to be in the top five ranking, more so be the valedictorian. Sad to say, I was just honored top 7 in class and was asked to lead nothing for our graduation but the creed. The 'repeat-after-me' thing that only either the valedictorian or the salutatorian could play the part. However, that was only during rehearsals that I got the chance to fulfill that.

 

I cried so much the night that the top 10 students were rolled out by my adviser. I cried outside our house, and when my dad noticed I'm on the top ladder of our water tank, sitting in the dark, I've got nothing else to do but to go down. I wiped my face washed away with tears, but to my dismay, I really can't hold it in. I was thinking that all the efforts I've given during the first 3 years of my high school life we're all trashed. I've been on top 5 during the first two years, and became 4th on my junior year.

 

Landing 7th was not just hurtful, it's actually damaging. Really.

(personal issues attached)

 

Anyways, the point is that, I did not cry during those nights solely because I wanted to be the best. Not because I feel I failed as a daughter, but also as a person. Graduating with top honors is just one of my personal goals in my life. And that downfall has been one of my major pitfalls. I cried not because I want it- and unfortunately it didn't become mine- but because I worked REALLY REALLY HARD for it. And I know I deserve it. If you would ask my classmates and certain teachers, I actually am the most well applauded that day. Not just because I was on the honor roll, or that I have so many friends in the audience, but also because I also got tons of awards. My being winner of a national competition in journalism was recognized, and even our principal was given a Superintendent's Award because of that achievement. I've joined almost every single school contest, as long as it fits my schedule. I've been recognized by teachers in different fields. I've established my name. But sadly as it seems, it's been not enough.

 

Let's get this thoughts back in rail.

 

I hardly believe in the saying "Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa..."

 

So far with everything that I've experienced, done, and worked hard for so far, not everything depended on the efforts- nor God's will. I don't believe that when you've given everything you can, everything else is up to God. I dunno. My being 'in between faith' must've been playing a part on this thought of mine. What I believe in is that, whatever happens, it's up to you if you want to give it your best shot or not. Because eitherways, there's no 100% guarantee that you will get what you want.

 

Every rule has an exception. So therefore, its related to what I've said, THERE'S no 100% GUARANTEE.

 

If you'd be giving it 100% of your best, then you will just INCREASE the PROBABILITY of getting what you want or make it happen. But again, it'll not be a sureball that IT will happen.

 

Let me correct the thought of my first quote in this article.

 

"If something is for you, and is rightfully yours, it'll be.. but if that something doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to be, let it go... set it free."

 

We can tag it along with "Mind over matter."

 

Time is of the essence. Why not just continue the 'living' just right after your low point? Or better yet start collecting the pieces at once and make sure to take note of what you've learned with that down time.

 

 

-malufaith

 

 

 

Meet and Greet (fans day?)

Posted on December 14, 2009 at 12:50 PM Comments comments (0)

That went well.

 

At first, it made a bit conscious of everything. The distance. The pace. The words that comes out of my mouth. The glances... everything. :unsure:

 

I tried hard not to look uncomfortable.

I tried opening small talks.

I made myself be and act like 'me'.

 

It's quite awkward for the both of us (I assume) during the first few minutes. Eventhough it is not the first time we sat down together with some common friends. But maybe one reason why there's this sort of one way mirror in between us is that, we've been friends- yes. But not personally.

 

But eventually afterwards, we crossed the thin line between being acquainted, and being personally connected.

 

There were some parts of that happening wherein I almost felt out of place. But, the hell I care. All I know is that I can manage. And I did.

 

I almost told myself that it's too risky. Well, y'all know how I love and crazily am game to take risks. And definitely, this is one risk that I know deep within that it is worthy to take.

 

During that almost half an hour 'stepping-to-the-next-level' scenario, a thought struck me.

We're way different.

 

Yes, even at first I know we are. But I know that this is something I would really manage and would love to work on with if there's something more in store for the both of us. :wink:

 

-malufaith

 

 

 

Sonnet for no one

Posted on December 7, 2009 at 4:39 PM Comments comments (0)

Don't run away...

 

 

I'm searching for a song with this line. And with the couple of results I got from google, I decided not to include any song at all on this blog post.

 

So instead let me just share this sonnet I wish to dedicate to this person I wanted to know more.

 

Here goes...

 

 

 

Don't you run away.

Man, come here, and please stay...

 

 

*sigh*

 

 

I can't even think of words to add. What's happening to me? :unsure:

 

He's pushing himself away recently. But why? Have I done something wrong? Is there anything that I've done or did not do that made him decide to go and slip away?

 

I'm not paranoid, nor feeling broken.

 

I just dunno why he's acting like this and STILL not making anything happen. :roll:

 

 

 

-malufaith

 

 

 

 

Schedule Adherence

Posted on December 3, 2009 at 4:09 PM Comments comments (0)

Lagot, lagot, lagot!

 

So, Im back. Update as usual.

 

Pa'no ba naman kasi wala akong kasama dito. I hate Thursday and Fridays. Lagi na lang kasi akong solo flight 'til 11pm! :unsure:

 

Anyways. Let's start off. Badtrip. Topak yung phone ng kapatid ko. Supernova siya na 7210. Nagpalit kami kasi nagda-download ako ng games. Hehe. So there. Naasar ako kasi nga maling mali yung orasan. Muntik na ko mahimatay kasi kala ko sobrang late na ko nagising. Past 11 na 'dun. Nanlumo ako kasi nga late ako kahapon. My stubborness has taken its toll. Super sira ang S.A. ko! :(

 

Sabi ko nga Intek and I are exchanging places. Siya yung record holder sa pagiging late eh. Ngayon mukhang ako na. Hmp!

 

(Ayyy. andito pala si Gelo. May kadaldalan na rin ako kahit papano!)

 

Back to topic.

 

Let's see why my S.A. has suffered this past few months.

 

Before, nung na 'kina Sup Lee at Ms. Van pa 'ko, madalas kong iniisip na sana mas gabi pa yung shift ko. So that's what I worked on during the shift bid. I prioritized those schedules that would solve my travelling dilemmas, and sleeping habits. (But of course dapat pasok pa rin sa jar, meaning to say, malaki pa rin ang kikitain ko.)

 

Yung scheds na pinagpilian ko eh 8-5 or 9-6. Sablay kasi kapag madaling araw yung start. Naisip ko masyado nang queuing 'yun. Kapag madaling araw naman ang uwi, sa safety naman ang dale! Sabi nga nila, better be safe than sorry.

 

Okay lang naman saki'n kahit anong oras ng uwi. Basta ba may pera, safe, at 'di hassle sa byahe.

 

At ending nga 9-6 ang sched ko. :wink:

 

Pero ang nakakaasar talaga ng bonggang bongga is that, kahit naurong ang sched ko ng 3 hours, na-le-late pa din ako! hmp.

 

At bakit kamo? Although nakakauwi ako ng maaga (around 7am), pagkahilata ko naman eh dilat pa din ako. Yung utak ko ganado pa din. Yung mga calls ko medyo nangpeperwisyo pa rin sa utak ko. Not that I'm still in a hangover of the calls I handled, pero parang hanggang sa pag-uwi ko eh para pa din akong 'occupied' ika nga.

 

So there. Naka-2 late agad ako this month. Kapag di pa 'ko nagtino, malilipat ako niyan sa ibang account. :ohmy: :mad:

 

 

 

-malufaith

 

 

 

wish gRANTed.

Posted on December 2, 2009 at 4:39 PM Comments comments (0)

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Daldal ko talaga. Mema na naman ako! Hehe.

Nanlalamig kasi ako eh.

Anyways, hmmm... as the first line goes, feeling ko napaka-busy ko lately. (Kahit na 4 days akong naka-RD, at wala ako ginawa sa bahay kundi humarap sa TV, sa dvd, sa cellphone, at sa mga kasama ko sa bahay. :tongue:)

Buhay prinsesang palaka nga naman oo.

 

Ayun. Pero sa dami ng iniisip ko, feeling ko lagi akong loaded sa gawain.

 

Try nga natin mag-narrow down.

 

-clan reunion sa december (Mindoro)

-pano ko hahatiin katawan ko sa 2 pamilya?

-bakasyon grande with NSI batch 81 and Magic10

-pa'no ko bebenta cp ko

-Sun/Smart line application

-pa'no ko bibili ng laptop

-family business plans

 

Yan pa lang yung main ideas. Sanga-sanga 'yan eh. Oh diba, kamusta naman yung nag-iisip ka tungkol diyan ng halos sabay-sabay? Its like raindrops, mababasa't mababasa ka. Kahit hindi sabay-sabay ang pagpatak sa lupa, wala kang ligtas, 'di ka makakaiwas.

 

Another thing that bothers me is my love life. Hehe. Kung meron ba o wala, aba. EWAN.

 

Meron? Oo. Wala? Oo din.

 

Haynako talaga.

 

Naguguluhan din ako sa pinag-gagagawa ko sa buhay ko lately.

 

Sa lahat!

 

Sa trabaho, sa pamilya, sa pag-aaral, sa kamag-anakan, sa lovelife, sa friendships, sa personal growth, lahat! Arrrgh!

 

GTG na, out na ko eh.

 

-malufaith

 

 

 


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